As a longterm devotee of all forms of procrastination, I feel it's my duty to inform you that I've finally allowed myself to topple - arsefruit-like - into the bosom of that most raucus of digimasses: TWITTER. Given that I've therefore successfully obliterated another half hour or so - per day - of productivity, this represents a glowing example of LIFESTYLE = FAIL. It is my hope that someday I can achieve 100% SELF DISTRACTION; scoring a perfect ZERO on daily output while nonetheless feeling busy and productive all day long. Huzzah for social networking.
To compound this sliding catastrophe of industriousness, I invite you now to join me in my new realm: a sliced-up melody of pointless keyboard ejaculation. Wisdom distilled into 140-character wordfarts! Moral superiority delivered (if you want it) direct to your mobile phone! Spurrierisms haunting you on the bus! What could be better, except maybe a ROBOT made of SEX.
Find me HERE.