Sunday, 3 May 2009
MY HATINGS: #7 (Week beginning 27th April 2009)
A day-by-day guide to That Which Annoys, as culled from the procrastination-heavy Bileduct that is Twitter's @SISPURRIER.
MONDAY) HATING OF THE DAY: The Adam’s Apple. If I’d wanted a freaky-feeling mutant knuckle sticking out of my fucking neck, I would’ve asked. Kthnx.
TUESDAY) HATING OF THE DAY: The word “irregardless”. As in "irregardless of you torturing the English language, I remain calm. BY GIVING YOU CANCER."
WEDNESDAY) HATING OF THE DAY: Dolphins. On the 8th day God had a load of SMUG left over, so he gave it form and sent it forth to Rape and Annoy.
THURSDAY) HATING OF THE DAY: Sympathy drunkards. Your outrageousness is even less convincing than your “I don’t need booze to have a good time”.
FRIDAY) HATING OF THE DAY: Lick-seal envelopes. “I *would*’ve sent a card, but – risking TONGUE PAPERCUT HORROR – decided I just didn’t care enough"
SATURDAY) [TOPICAL WEEKEND SPECIAL] HATING OF THE DAY: Reaching the age when birthday presents go from Things You Want to Things You Need. "A bike helmet. Thanks. No, really."