A day-by-day guide to That Which Annoys, as culled from the procrastination-heavy Bileduct that is Twitter's @SISPURRIER.
MONDAY) HATING OF THE DAY: Pandas. IF YOU WILL NOT FUCK, WE CANNOT HELP YOU. “But they’re so cuddly!” Yeah? So was Idi Amin.
TUESDAY) HATING OF THE DAY: Novels which messily crowbar the title into the text. “Even as he spaffed he mused that this truly was…The Wankiest Day.”
WEDNESDAY) HATING OF THE DAY: Punctuation Crime apologists. “But language EVOLVES, man.” Yes, but your ancestors will not, for I have given you cancer
THURSDAY) HATING OF THE DAY: The way that the sun’s Hair-Growth-Speeding vitamin-whateverthefuck power has manifested primarily inside my nostrils.
FRIDAY) HATING OF THE DAY: The shitwit who sits RIGHT BESIDE YOU in an empty park to make a phonecall. (Defeat him by touching yourself and sobbing)