Sunday, 10 May 2009

MY HATINGS: #8 (Week beginning 4th May 2009)

A day-by-day guide to That Which Annoys, as culled from the procrastination-heavy Bileduct that is Twitter's @SISPURRIER.

MONDAY) HATING OF THE DAY: Pandas. IF YOU WILL NOT FUCK, WE CANNOT HELP YOU. “But they’re so cuddly!” Yeah? So was Idi Amin.

TUESDAY) HATING OF THE DAY: Novels which messily crowbar the title into the text. “Even as he spaffed he mused that this truly was…The Wankiest Day.”

WEDNESDAY) HATING OF THE DAY: Punctuation Crime apologists. “But language EVOLVES, man.” Yes, but your ancestors will not, for I have given you cancer

THURSDAY) HATING OF THE DAY: The way that the sun’s Hair-Growth-Speeding vitamin-whateverthefuck power has manifested primarily inside my nostrils.

FRIDAY) HATING OF THE DAY: The shitwit who sits RIGHT BESIDE YOU in an empty park to make a phonecall. (Defeat him by touching yourself and sobbing)

1 comment:

David Lemon said...

Some first rate hatings. Glad to see sunnier climes haven't mellowed you.
As Tony Millionaire's Billy Hazelnuts once memorably said: 'I'm a barrelful of hate, come open me up'.