Friday, 29 October 2010

MCM Expo: A Schpurdule.

Hello hello my glorious skinknuggets. Information For Your Spursphere-intersecting-interest:

I, like most UK Comics-writing beerdogs, will be attending the marvellous MCM EXPO in London's docklands this weekend. It's about as close as you can get, on this side of the pond, to the Behemoth Cawmic-Cawns of San Diego or New York, with the amusing twist that whereas the US shows started-out being Comic-Centric - but have gradually been subsumed by movie and videogame interests - the London show started as a Movie/Game thing but has expanded its chirpy little "Comics Village" into a Comics Metropolis. Which is awesome, and largely down to the efforts of Comicky Stalwarts like the oh-so-talented Emma Vieceli. If you see her, give her a kitten. (A fainting one, for preference.)

So! Should anyone wish to track me down for a Howdy, a WhoTheFuckDoYouThinkYouAre, or a Hug, hereafter follows my schedule. (I was kidding about the Hug. Seriously. Stop touching me.)

SATURDAY 30th OCTOBER:

12pm -- SIGNING at the Comics Village Info Desk.

2pm -- CONTESTING in the 3rd ARTISTS VS. WRITERS no-holds-barred deathmatch smackdown (read: pictionary and taboo) game on the Comics Village stage.

5pm -- BLETHERING in the Comic Writers' Panel on the Comics Village stage.

SUNDAY 31st OCTOBER:

1pm -- SIGNING at the Comics Village Info Desk.


It would be - really and seriously - Lovely to See You. If you can't make it at any of the times mentioned above, your best course is to stand at the bar in the groady little psuedopub opposite the con and pester Gorgeous Maletypes with floppy hair until you get lucky.

Aaaand, vile self-plug, if you're looking for a fun substrate to collect your Spurtastic Signature, might I recommend this week's splendid X-MEN VS. VAMPIRES #2, which contains a cheeky little oneshot by yours truly featuring the GREATEST VAMPIRE IN THE UNIVERSE.

I speak, of course, of Moby Dickula:




See you there!

Monday, 25 October 2010

SPURWORDS: Week 3

1)METROSEXUAL: a person unable to achieve arousal unless travelling on the Parisian underground transport system. #SPURWORDS

2) DANGER VU: an irrational sense of familiarity in moments of terror, causing the certainty that “this will hurt”. #SPURWORDS

3) SUESHI: an irrational identification with slaughtered-yet-beautifully-presented fish, following a failed lawsuit. #SPURWORDS

4) LETTUCE PREY: opening line of a popular vegetarian mealtime liturgy. #SPURWORDS

5) FAITHOM: unit of distance in a theoretical world in which religiousness Gets You Further. #SPURWORDS

Behold! A new SPURWORD every day on Twitter -- @sispurrier

SPURWORDS: Week 2

1) KEYBORED: the perpetual need to correct a misspelt Scandinavian place-name because your fingers Just Won’t Learn. #SPURWORDS

2) DONGLING: the physical movements of a Mafia Boss, while being hanged by treacherous goons. #SPURWORDS

3) FEENIX: the insulting page-rate that just keeps coming back, no matter how much you think you’ve haggled it to death. #SPURWORDS

4) KARMERA: a theoretical device designed to photograph one’s Meagre Luck, and win sympathy on grounds of Existential Unfairness. #SPURWORDS

5) TOYLET: a lavatory so unexpectedly entertaining in its own right, it mitigates the need for bogside literature. #SPURWORDS


Follow Spurwords every week day on Twitter -- @sispurrier

Sunday, 3 October 2010

SPURWORDS: Week 1

A little over a year ago, as a still-relatively-new visitor to Twitter (@sispurrier, fact fans), I started churning-out a daily gag called THE HATING OF THE DAY. It did exactly what it said on the tin, never strayed over 140-characters-a-time, and was even occasionally funny.

(I flatter myself. I fucking hate people who do that.)

Off the back of all that, I was invited to contribute a weekly column for the highly popular and supremely gossipy comics-related website Bleedingcool.com. Which was also a huge pleasure, similarly bilious, and also once-in-a-while slightly funny.

After a year of that, I've downgraded the Short'n'Curlies column to an Occasional Pleasure - it's always been enormous fun to write, but it's also far more expensive in time-terms than you might think - and decided to return to a daily, silly, punctuate-my-life sort of THING on Twitter.

(I can't think of a better word than "thing", by the way -- meme? gagnugget? joyquanta? -- which is particualrly ironic given the nature of the New Thing Itself. Bear with me...)

See, I'm just a little less Hatey today than I was a year ago. I mean, a few people who never really *got* the HOTD assumed I must be quite a spiteful or nasty human being, which just--... well, actually, probably *is* the case, but that was never what the daily bilesquirt was about. It was never a personal attack against this-or-that, never a raging demonstration of the dragonshit-black HHHHate in my soul. It was just a funny little whinge; an "I'm still here and things are still a bit annoying, aren't they?", to the world. Most people seemed to like it.

So I'm going to try something similar. Well, similar-ish. And since it turns out there are more po-faced moral warriors out there than you might expect, who have a deep and abiding problem with Using Negativity As Humour (siiigh), this time round it'll be plain old Making Shit Up In Smirky Ways.

Aaaand since the *other* objection I often get - besides beign a hateful negativity-mongor - is that I'm a neurotic Nazi for grammar, vocabulary and big purple words, I have decreed that the new daily THING will be, yes yes yes, Words.

SPURWORDS, actually.

And so here, my pretty nodules of gut-custard, is WEEK-THE-FIRST of the new, glorious, and (yes!) even occasionally-slightly-amusing SPURWORDS.


SHIVERNNOYANCE: The experience of glancing-up, in a bustling cafe, to find a creepy pensioner staring directly at you. #SPURWORDS

CROTCHFLOSSER: the gentleman who proudly dries himself after swimming with a conspicuous back-and-forth gusset towel-tug. #SPURWORDS

ESPRIT D’ESCARGOT: the bon mot you *could’ve* said to that smarmy French Waiter, if only you’d thought of it at the time. #SPURWORDS

CONTEMPLATITUDE: trying to generate an earnest aphorism in response to someone you’ve been pretending to listen to. #SPURWORDS

RECIDERVISM: the ill-advised snakebite-and-black you don’t remember drinking until it reoffends on the way back out. #SPURWORDS


(Catch a new Spurword every weekday, usually about 4pm-GMT/11am-EST, at Twitter's @sispurrier. And, as ever, if you like what you see: be sweet, retweet!)